The Joy of Ignorance

April 2, 2009 is the end of my life as I've know it. After nearly 42 years of joy, sadness, love, hurt, euphoria & pain its over. Done. Finished. Kaput. It's odd really. Just over a week ago my wife and I were dining at our favorite Italian joint, Miceli's, enjoying a legendary restaurant, chatting with Charlie and owner Dave Miceli. Then, rather quickly, an impromptu stay at the Standard off the strip. Up till 4am enjoying the suite and the balcony. Oh yes, the balcony. Thank you very much Mrs. Bollocks! But I digress. I've rambled on and gotten completely off the point. Something I have often done, and no doubt, will certainly do again. So I ask, most humbly my dear droogs, that you bare with me when I relapse.



Having known people with various sorts of cancer, over the years, they have come up with a clever way of defining their lives into two seasons.... Pre-Cancer & Post-Cancer. For me April 1, 2009 will be the last day of my Pre-Cancer life. Yes, April Fool's Day. Having been a jokester my entire life, some will, almost certainly, say how appropriate! Now there is no way of knowing exactly when I became cancerous. Cantankerous?......now that's easy, July 8, 1967. Cancerous who knows? But what is certain April Fool's Day 2009 is the last day I ever lived in absolute and most joyful ignorance.



I've often wondered what it's like........the very moment in someones life........ when they find out they have The Big C, or any potentially terminal illness. For me, a life time lover of music, the sound was most horrific. Strange enough, it's wasn't the actual words, my doctor uttered......"we found a tumor.......and it's cancer" No. These were just words, or rather, very strange sounds bouncing around my Demerol saturated brain. It was the shriek.........God that awful shriek....... coming from my wife's lips that quickly, and most rudely, brought me out of the blessed Demerol Disco, where I had, just moments ago, been the VIP of VIP's. A most sobering sound. For me, the horror show running thru my beautiful brides thoughts were, without a doubt, the worst sound this music lover has ever heard.



The following day The Shriek was back with vengeance!! April 2, 2009 I was told I have colon cancer. Not exactly good news I'm afraid. But friends and family were quick to point out all the great progress that has been made in recent years towards surviving this disease. Great. Fantastic. Only one problem...........



April 3, 2009 I was, most politely, informed that I in fact have rectal cancer not colon cancer. Whats the difference you ask? I've no idea. I'm still trying to cope with the fact that I've been rudely bounced from the Demerol Disco. Being told I have rectal cancer rather than colon cancer is, to me, like asking if I would rather listen to RUSH or TWISTED SISTER! WHO CARES!!! They're both CRAP!! I HATE, LOATH & DESPISE THEM! Give me Paul Weller or The Who. But what I do know is that if I had to pick between colon or rectal I would take the former NOT the later. I've been told that rectal cancer is harder to treat successfully and has more, shall we say, unpleasant side effects that could be life long. So with the news that I might have to spend the rest of my life without my ass.............my wife lets loose with The Shriek, again.



April 4, 2009 I'm left wondering whats in store for me, my beautiful bride of 12 years and our four kinder. I'm sure there will be more joy, sadness, love, hurt, euphoria & pain. It goes without saying really. So I have decided to create this blog. To write about the never ending events and trials my family and I will travel together in the months or years to come. So to my beloved ShellB, Ashy, Tiffany, Brigitte & Bugsy I dedicate the remainder of my Post-Cancer life.